Who are we as Americans? It's a mystery! Thanks, Obama!

If you were to hear one of President Obama's speeches read in another's voice, it would still be distinguishable as his because of his go-to move. He, in the rhetorical equivalent of patting us on our collective back, likes to assure us of our unity by defining who Americans are with vague phrases. Who hasn't had a moment where they were comforted by his saying that We as Americans value values or something of the like?

Recently, Obama, who has basically trademarked the phrase "...who we are as Americans," as a formula for creating his speeches has made a surprising move. He has become so confused as to what our actual identity is now that he's turned to the same methods high school students use on multiple choice questions and finding their identities: the process of elimination. For example: Opposing subsidies for renewable energy is "not who we are." Sorry, oil companies! It appears you aren't true Americans! Same goes for those that don't support hand-outs! He's changing the definition of "true Americans" all willy-nilly!

The artists formerly known as True Americans

Formerly, my vision of a true American was a die-hard, salmon-shorts wearing, capitalist, white, male Republican. (One that, like most people, values values, of course.) Now, I'm faced with the terrifying void left by Obama's destruction of that image via his labeling of opposition to renewable energy as non-American. This gap leaves many questions unanswered: In the biggest plot twist in the history of this country, is Obama revealing the artists formerly known as true Americans as illegals in his renouncing their American-ness? If the former True Americans weren't True Americans who were the OG True Americans? Are we stooping so low that we're about to enter a Goth phase?

So, Obama, like many politicians, has a trademark rhetorical device! That he uses in an attempt to unify people! And which he sometimes varies by adding other words! Also, it seems that he encourages points of view that align with his own! None of this would be all that problematic if we weren't so confused about who the True Americans he has repeatedly attempted to unify were. It's all very shocking and confusing, folks! But don't worry, I'm sure all of you True Americans will figure it out. It's who we are as a nation.

Source:
weekly standard