Sunday, November 30, 2014

Blocking of Keystone XL Infringes on 'Murican Right to Kill the Planet

The blockage of the Keystone XL pipeline is infringing on our right to destroy the environment, folks! It was all set to transport crude oil sands from Canada, Montana, and North Dakota through Nebraska and other similarly boring places. But no! Then the liberal oligarchy intervened like they knew where Nebraska was before the pipeline! Let's be real! No one cares about Nebraska, not really. This is a political concern! When you think about it, there was really no reason to block it. Never mind that it's difficult to extract. It wouldn't be fun if it were easy! Environmental issues? Liberals are falling back on their “Global Warming” excuses! A wise man once said “Global Warming isn’t real because I was cold today! Also great news: world hunger is over because I just ate.”
Man, kids are gross. Who needs 'em?

Even if this warming of the globe weren’t mythical, we wouldn't need to save the planet! Matthew McConaughey is going to find us a new one! And if that doesn't pan out, who cares? We won't be alive then! Just our descendants...but do we really care about them? Children are always "me me me," with their crying and snot and whatnot. What have they done for us lately?

Additionally, we’re losing out on the opportunity to create a LOT of jobs here! Albeit, temporary ones...but what kind of insane person wants to create permanent jobs? If you're a liberal pundit and long-term jobs sound appealing to you: they could even turn into long term jobs because we could be locked into dependence on this oil! I'll give you that!


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