Back in Shellac (Or Another One Bites the Cheeto Dust? The Stuff of Trump's Skin is Still a Mystery***)

Hello, "nation,"****
         Given the current political climate, I can't possibly hold my tongue any longer or else I may explode-- like our planet likely will in the impending nuclear war that will be sparked, ever so cruelly, by something as menial as a tweet by the narcissistic, cheeto-faced, ass flap that is our *shudders* president, Donald Trump (okay, maybe that was melodramatic, but now feels like the time for that?).
        To any returning viewers: I'm sure all three of you, who may not even share in my horror at the state the US is in currently because you were all in Denmark, have missed me dearly (ha). Anyway, the point is that this blog will be running again, because I need to cope.
          That said, if any posts are done sarcastically/from the same fake Republican view point as all of the posts preceding this one, take that with a grain pillar of salt. I don't support anything remotely in Trump's "platform" (which really seems to be a bunch of logs lumberjacks are bringing down a river, and he just hops (in a very clunky, ungraceful, markedly un-lumberjack way for those of you who might not want me to ruin your thing for lumberjacks**) from log to log when one becomes dangerous/another looks like it'll hold the infinite weight of his fragile ego better). I hope that the posts will be ridiculous enough to make my opposition extremely clear.

Parsnip Doodad Mump on his "platform;" depiction not true to life, far too tactful to be accurate.

You'll be hearing from me soon, interwebs.

Dreadfully yours,
Veronica

PS- I often feel repulsed by his name; that demagogue shall henceforth be referred to as Parsnip Doodad Mump on this blog (#NotMyParsnip); I don't know if I'll actually keep that but it's fun for now.


**** (in quotes, since the one I'm addressing (you know the one that includes people who *gasp* aren't white cis heteros??) clearly does not exist for all the people who voted for Trump (*cough* white women *cough*))
***It's not a mystery, his skin is paper
**(don't worry, he can't have a beard! the sheer awfulness of a comb-over on his non-existent jawline would freeze everyone like Medusa's stone glare and there wouldn't even be a functioning population to fuck!*)
*he'd probably still find a way